Ugly Aur Pagli

Rating: * ½

Ugly Aur Pagli is a bizarre and uncanny title. But catchy and attracts instant attention at the same time. It's for this reason that you expect Ugly Aur Pagli to be one wacky ride, what with the film promising 99 slaps and 1 kiss.

Besides, post PYAAR KE SIDE EFFECTS, unconventional stories with unconventional casting only got an impetus.

Since Ugly Aur Pagli comes from the same production house that delivered P.K.S.E., you only expect the film to go a notch higher, or be at par, than the earlier experience. And that's where the film falls short of expectations.

Viewed as an individualistic experience, Ugly Aur Pagli has a few interesting moments. Don't look for a story here, for it's the moments and incidents that bind this 2-hour film together. So what if the writers and director seem inspired by MY SASSY GIRL? Mallika Sherawat and Ranvir Shorey are enough to make you forget the waferthin plot at times.

Sure, a few scenes do bring a smile on your face, they are genuinely funny and bizarre (Mallika wearing undergarments above her clothes in the college), but there're times when the humour falls flat.

You just don't react to the on-screen antics, you sit motionless while absorbing them (the futuristic stories that Mallika pens makes you break into a yawn!).

All said, had director Sachin Khot opted for a strong story and backed it up with strong emotions (in the latter part), Ugly Aur Pagli would've made you exclaim 'Lovely'. As things stand now, Ugly Aur Pagli is below par!

Ugly Aur Pagli tells the story of Kabir (Ranvir Shorey), a carefree guy who has been studying engineering for the last five years and whose life goes for a sixer when he meets the quirky and kinky Kuhu (Mallika Sherawat).

Kabir always wanted a girlfriend, but never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he would encounter a girl who could make him dance around circles, ride cycles without seats, wear high heeled ladies sandals…

10 minutes into the film and you realize that Ugly Aur Pagli is not the usual prem kahani. Yet, you take to the over-dominating, brash woman and the timid, docile and submissive guy. In fact, you break into a smile as you are introduced to these characters. But the smile surfaces only intermittently.

Nothing wrong with the first hour, but the second hour is problematic. Problem is, the absence of a story makes every moment look repetitive. What you've watched in the first hour is remodelled and represented in the second hour, with slight modifications of course.

Besides, the story is stretched in the second hour. Why does Mallika disappear suddenly (we're told she goes to Kolkata for two years). Also, how does Gaurav Kapoor, the prospective groom, know Ranvir Shorey? Gaurav blurts out 10 ways to win Mallika in his first meeting itself.

But the question is, why would Ranvir guide Gaurav when he's himself hopelessly in love with Mallika and has been searching for her whereabouts desperately? Clearly, the writers just didn't know how to conclude this saga!

Debutante Sachin Khot is letdown, to a major extent, by a slipshod and sloppy script. Music (Anu Malik) is another sore point. Besides 'Talli' (well rendered by Mika, Anmol Malik and Hard Kaur) and to an extent, 'Karle Gunaah', the remaining songs should be given a skip.

Ugly Aur Pagli belongs to both Mallika and Ranvir. The best thing about Mallika is, she's a complete natural. She's spunky and spirited and that's one of the reasons why this role works.

And it works only because Mallika is portraying it. Doubt if any other actress would've carried off the devilish streak so well. Her emotional side is also well captured in the concluding moments.

Ranvir Shorey - an incredible actor indeed! To play a submissive part convincingly requires complete understanding of the craft and Ranvir proves, yet again, that he's one of the most dependable actors around.

Again, the best thing about him is that he's not pretending to act. Tinnu Anand and Sushmita Mukherjee are hilarious in their first scene. Bharti Achrekar is alright. Zeenat Aman is hardly there for one scene.

On the whole, Ugly Aur Pagli is, at best, an ordinary fare, but in the absence of a tight script, the film will face an uphill task in days to come

Singh Is Kinng

Rating: ****

Just a word of caution before you watch this film: Singh Is Kinng is not for the intellectuals or those pretending to be one. It's not for the hard-nosed critics either.

Now read on…

Vipul Shah. Anees Bazmee. Akshay Kumar. Katrina Kaif. Four names for whom success has become a habit. That makes Singh Is Kinng the most awaited movie of the season. Must add, the wait was worth it!

You know the rules when you watch a hardcore entertainer: Just don't look for logic. If you do, too bad for you, for you would never enjoy a film of this genre and more specifically, Singh Is Kinng.

Anees Bazmee's films are very high on entertainment. The plotline may be paper-thin, perhaps ludicrous and farcical, but when did Bazmee ever promise a SCHINDLER'S LIST or a SAVING PRIVATE RYAN? Singh Is Kinng works because it delivers what it promises: Full on entertainment!

Bazmee has the knack of making immensely watchable fares that cater to the aam junta. Singh Is Kinng isn't a laughathon in entirety. Comedy, romance, action and drama, everything is well synchronised in those 2.10 hours here.

But, wait, Singh Is Kinng isn't a foolproof product. It has its share of flaws, the turn of events aren't captivating at times, but Singh Is Kinng moves so fast and packs in so much, there's no time to think or analyze.

The final word? Singh Is Kinng is a delicious and scrumptious pav-bhaji served in the finest cutlery. Your taste buds are sure to relish it... and ask for more!

Lakhan Singh aka Lucky (Sonu Sood) is the King of the Australian underworld, accompanied by his associates (played by Javed Jaffrey, Neha Dhupia, Manoj Pahwa, Yashpal Sharma, Kamal Chopra and Sudhanshu Pande). Far away, in a small village in Punjab, where Lucky was born, there exists someone more notorious than him - Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar).

The village is fed up of Happy's magnanimity, which has resulted in a number of hilariously disastrous situations. Out of desperation, they decide to send him on a long trip (that will keep him out of the village for a while!) to bring Lucky back to Punjab, as his despicable deeds were maligning their image in Australia.

The happy-go-lucky bumpkin, taking his mission a bit too seriously, embarks on his journey, accompanied by his friend, Rangeela (Om Puri), who hates Happy for dragging him into it.

The high point of his journey is his chance meeting with Sonia (Katrina Kaif), with whom he falls in love, but upon reaching his destination, things take a precarious turn as he runs into a series of comic misadventures, leaving him penniless. He is fortunate to find warmth and affection in an elderly lady (Kirron Kher).


>Following the altercation, Lucky lands up in hospital paralyzed and Happy, unexpectedly, finds the tables turned on him when he is expected to assume the role of the new King.

Few minutes into the film and you know that Singh Is Kinng is a lavish spectacle that's high on entertainment. Sonu Sood chasing a gora assassin at the very start or minutes later, Akshay chasing a hen - Singh Is Kinng starts with gusto.

And Bazmee doesn't let you wear your thinking caps all through the first hour. From India to Egypt to Australia, from the comforts of his home in Punjab, to the humble abode of a woman selling flowers in Sydney (Kirron Kher), Singh Is Kinng involves you in the journey.

And then Akshay becomes the King. Oh, how he becomes the King is equally hilarious. The sequence at the hospital (Sonu Sood is diagnosed with a weird disorder) is simply hilarious. There's a twist in the tale at the intermission point and the second hour, therefore, shifts gears - it changes from kabhi funny, kabhi drama to a prem kahani.

It's smooth sailing till there's another twist towards the pre-climax (wouldn't like to reveal it, since it would act as a spoiler). But, frankly, the film could've done without this track. The narrative, thankfully, is back on tracks soon after.

Anees Bazmee has a flair for writing great entertainers that work big time with the masala-loving junta. If you've loved NO ENTRY and WELCOME, you'd love Singh Is Kinng too.

This time, Bazmee shares the writing credits with Suresh Nair and the duo come up with some real wacky episodes. In terms of production design, this is Bazmee's most lavish fare so far. It's a grandiose product.

Pritam's music is already popular and it compliments the goings-on completely. 'Bhootni Ke', 'Jee Karda' and the title track stand out, while 'Teri Ore' is easy on the nerves. Ben Nott and Sanjay Gupta's cinematography is top notch.

Akshay Kumar takes rapid strides with Singh Is Kinng. Sure, you've seen him in comic fares time and again and perhaps, there might be a doubt, Will he carry it off yet again? Oh yes, he does!

There's no saturation point as far as this actor is concerned. He holds your attention in every sequence, irrespective of how strong the scene is, and that's the biggest compliment for any actor. Singh Is Kinng without Akki is like an ocean without marine life. Akshay rules!

The camera loves Katrina Kaif and it shows in Singh Is Kinng too. She looks bewitching and enacts her part with tremendous confidence. Kirron Kher is superb and so is Om Puri. Terrific performances!

They compliment Akki so well. Ranvir Shorey is first-rate. Sonu Sood is another actor who's finally getting his due in Hindi films. Javed Jaffrey's character works big time till he does a somersault in the pre-climax.

Neha Dhupia is engaging. The nok-jhonk between Sudhanshu Pandey and Yashpal Sharma is perfect. Manoj Pahwa is good.

On the whole, Singh Is Kinng lives up to the hype and hoopla. Want a joyride without taxing your brains? Board the Singh Is Kinng wagon.

At the box-office, the film will fetch a hurricane-like start. The paid previews, the opening weekend, the first week business, everything will be record-shattering.

Notwithstanding the new oppositions in the weeks to come, Singh Is Kinng will rule the hearts of the aam junta (whose verdict matters the most) as also the box-office, proving a record holder in the final tally. Blockbuster Hit!

Kismat Konnection

Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Vidya Balan, Juhi Chawla, Om Puri, Boman Irani, Vishal Malhotra, Himani Shivpuri, Haider Ali, Shehnaz Anand, Karnvir Bohra, Amit Varma, Dimple Sharma
Story: Rahila Mirza
Screenplay: Sanjay Chhel, Vibha Singh, Sai Kabir
Music: Pritam Chakraborty
Director: Aziz Mirza
Ratings - *1/2

Maybe there is on one in this world who doesn’t believe in kismet but for that single reason you can’t blame or over emphasize the issue of kismet. But the story of the film depicts little more.

Just like any other Bollywod flick, in this film also, Raj (Shahi Kapoor) and Priya (Vidya Balan) meet each other. But despite feeling love for each other the only thing they develop for each other is pure hatred.

But see the kismet connection hidden in such a chemistry which turns bad luck of Raj, who has been fighting for getting a better work for last five years in the field of Architecture, into a good one. Raj comes to his fortune teller Hassena Banu Jaan (Juhi Chawla) and describes everything to her.

Banu tells him that Priya is his lucky charm and for a better future he should always take her with him to wherever he goes for his job.

Raj agrees on it and takes Priya to a meeting with Batra & Gill, a company that wants to construct a shopping mall. But soon Raj comes to know that the proposed mall is going to be made by demolishing Priya’s community centre.

Priya helps Raj without having any idea about what’s going on. But as soon as Raj gets the project, the reality comes into open for Priya.

For the sake of love Raj proposes Gill (Om Puri) for building the combination of shopping mall and community center but Gill denies it.

At the end of the story Priya’s kismet helps Raj once again and Mr. Batra (Boman Irani), friend to Priya and partner of Batra & Gill, accepts Raj’s proposal of making the shopping mall beside the community centre.

Shahid must remember that audience’s expectation regarding his characters in films has touched the sky after the success of Jab We Met and he must accept films keeping that in mind only.

At the same time he must avoid playing the stereotype characters. On the other hand Vidya has tried her best to live the life of her character but unfortunately the character, especially her outfits, hasn’t suit her level best.

I guess she must not attempt this kind of characters. Juhi Chawla is excellent in the character of Hassena Bano but the lose bangle in her hand made audience think about possibilities that forced her wearing it.

Few scenes with Vidya made us realize like Juhi’s jewelries are put on Vidya. Om Puri and Boman Irani are good as usual. Himani Shivpuri proved with two scenes that character maybe small but it has to be strong. There is nothing to talk about other characters of the film.

Despite its length of 2 and half an hour, the film seemed longer and unusually slow. Aziz Mirza has chosen beautiful locations but he better has understood that beautiful locations cannot make beautiful films. Music and lyrics are not to the marks.

Expectations of watching a good film may drag a lot of audiences to the theatre but they better know in advance that the film has nothing extraordinary to offer the audience. People will surely fail to connect to the film, if not to the stars. - Rajnee Gupta

Mukhbiir

Starring: Om Puri, Jackie Shroff, Alok Nath, Suneil Shetty, Sushant Singh, Sammir Dattani, Rahul Dev, Kelly Dorje, Raj Zutshi and Raima Sen (guest appearance)
Music: Illaya Raja, Karthik Raja
Director: Mani Shankar
Ratings: **

Mukhbiir is the story of those people who work as honest and dedicated informers for the intelligence department but their story always remain behind the curtain.

Om Puri arrests Kailash (Sameer Duttani), a nineteen year old antisocial but looking at his innocent face Om Puri advices him to become an informer for them so that his offences can be forgiven.

Kailash accepts the approach in order to save his life. Om Puri slowly becomes a father figure for Kailash and he starts calling him Babuji and wife as Maaji.

On the other hand Kailash continues with his job of informer so that he can earn twelve lakhs rupees to wave adieu to the world of crime forever. Due to an operation in Hyderabad, Kailash has to get into the character called Vinayak Marathe to enter the gang of Mamu Don (Alok Nath).

But Mamu proves to be the don just for the namesake and in reality it’s his widow daughter and sharp shooter Pasha Bhai (Sushant Singh) who run the gang. Kailash’s mission in Hyderabad is to finish the notorious gangster Mustafa.

He accomplishes his job but the situation forces him to kill Om Puri and thus, in the police force, Om Puri’s friend Rahaman (Suneil Shetty) comes into the position of Om Puri.

The story forwards and the next step in the mission comes where they have to reach Saaya (Rahul Dev), the boss of Mustafa. To complete this part of the mission, Kailash now has to get into the skin of Shahzad Khan.

In this way Kailash enters the gang of Saaya and comes to know that Saaya is going to blast more than twenty bombs in several places of Mumbai in the duration of less than seven minutes.

The whole terrorist operation is supported by some foreign power. Kailash informs that to his Maaji and through her the news reaches the Chief Minister (Jackie Sroff) and somehow the blasts cannot take place.

From writing the film to the direction of the wonderful scenes, Mani Shankar has taken care of both the things very well but why did he take Raima in this film is still beyond our comprehension.

Not only that. The song canned on Raima is also the wastage of time. As far as acting is concerned, all the actors are just to the level which is not acceptable from such great actors.

It specially can be told in case with Om Puri. Sameer has tried well getting into the skin of the informer. Music of the film is not up to the mark though lines by Samir depicting the life of the informer etch well with the film.

Albeit the film is still under the scanner of doubt about how it will attract the audience, people should try it once to know secrets about the lives of informers. Sameer Duttani’s dialogue ‘dedh saal mein jaan par khel kar sirf saade char lakh rupay kamae’ (Putting my life in danger I have earned a mere amount of four and half a lakh in the span of one and half a year), depicts the pain of a Mukhbiir (informer).

Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na

By Subhash K Jha

Starring: Imran Khan, Genelia
Written & Directed by Abbas Tyrewala
Rating: ***

A blessed week at the movies. If this week we get Harman Baweja as the full filmy package of an all-rounder, we also get Imran Khan…Fesh - faced original and possessing a natural screen presence that immediately connects him with the audience.

Abbas Tyrewala's directorial debut has a certain sparkling spirit, a zest for living life quirk-sized and a certain zing thing about the way the characters look at life and love.

It's not only about the way the characters' exuberant yearnings connect with the audience. It's also about the casual free-flowing downloading of events and dialogues in the narrative that give the characters an edge over other urbane youngsters who have come and gone in the past creating a spirit of lingering joie de vivre.

The bunch of collegians here take their cues from Farhan Akhtar's Dil Chahta Hai, Rakeysh Mehra's Rang De Basanti and even Karan Johar's Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

Echoes from these iconic youth -films fill out the outer edges of the 'cool' canvas creating for the characters at-hand a sense of wondrous and informal perpetuity as they go from humorous heartbreak to sober selfrealization in a plot that accommodates both impulse and pre-meditated thought in a mix that is engaging endearing and fairly original in spite of the derivative echoes.

While the supporting cast of friends are both real and tangible, at the core of this romantic musical are Jai (Irfan Khan) and Aditi (Genelia) who are "best friends" in the coolest sense of the term.

Bantering bum-chums at the surface but sharing a much deeper bond underneath, all their friends can see that the twosome is made for each other.

But they can't.

It's an exceedingly old formula for a romantic comedy given a fresh new spin by a storyteller who picks on moments from ordinary lives and converts them into a celebration of life and love.

Old songs (R.D Burman mainly) and new original music (A.R Rahman) coalesce with the minum fuss while Jai and Aditi's love story goes through several turns and twists until they arrive at that traditional end-game for romantic films: the grand reunion at the airport seconds before the girl is scheduled to take off for good.

The flurry is charming, though a little to selfconsciously designed at times.

Peep underneath. And you see the narration covering a lot of familiar ground.

The freshness lies in the way the characters respond to the familiar material often exceeding the domain created by the script.

Every actor pitches in at just the right volume of vivacity. There are stand-out supporting performances by Naseeruddin Shah (playing the hero Jai's dead father in a portrait), Ratna Pathak (superbly skilled as Jai's mom), Paresh Rawal (flawless as a boorish cop) and Arbaaz and Sohail Khan (as a couple of outlandish cowboys they supplant the believably urbane love story with a touch of the surreal).

Then there's Manjrai Phadnis as the hero's could-be love interest. Living in perpetual denial she thinks her embittered parents (Rajat Kapoor and Kitu Gidwani) actually love each other under the acrimony.

The characters never claim to be extraordinary in their desires. It's their ordinary dreams and down-to-earth desires which give the narration a spirited spin.

And then there are protagonists. Not just young Imran Khan and Genelia. But their friends. Each one played as though the wall dividing the actor from the characters had disappeared.

While Genelia is a natural in most scenes, Imran's unassuming boy-next-door personality lends itself with picture-perfect precision to the mood and tenor of the narration.

Here's a young actor who has a long innings ahead. He doesn't think before he acts.

It's not about how deep he goes into his character. It's more about how much at home he's occupying the space provided by the script.

The same is true of the other actors.

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na exudes an urbane cool. It's not really trying to be anything. It doesn't have an earthshattering message for the masses. What it has is an honest story about a bunch of credible characters told in a fashion that's casually trendy and warm.

Manoj Lobo's cinematography and Shan Mohamed's editing assist the director in making this a film that you'd probably like to watch again just to see if you missed out a vital bit of the characters' lives while they were looking for love.

Mehbooba

Starring Manisha Koirala, Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgan
Directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali….oops, Afzal Khan
Rating: * ½

Manisha Koirala is the one reason why one would want to brave this prolonged homage to the cinema of Sanjay Leela Bhansali.

This one is a 3-hour long rag-carpet welcome to Sanjay Leela Bhansali Hum…Dil De Chuke Sanam. The plot, ambience, characters, music and even the interactive interludes between the main protagonists are all derived with lipsmacking relish from Bhansali's film.

Why, Mehbooba (no relation to Shakti Samanta's Mehbooba in 1977) even goes to Budapest where Bhansali shot the second-half of Hum….

Except, that Mehbooba goes to Budapest in the first-half and to the bustling screechy noisy food-laden haveli from the first-half of Bhansali's Hum… in the second-half.

Ho hum…. The melodies (if one may call them that) flit in and out like unwanted guests after every ten minutes of dialogue.

If the songs were sacrificed on the editing table, maybe—just maybe—Mehbooba would be more bearable in its old-world love triangle ambience of two brothers (one idealistic and lovelorn, the other unscrupulous and ever-libidinous) who fall for the same girl.

The meat of the métier goes to the majestic Manisha…Still resplendent and lovely no matter where and in what they put her, Manisha never fails to infuse a poetic aura to her character.

Fetchingly photographed by that wunder-lensman Ashok Mehta at times Manisha looks as incandescent as she did in Bhansali's Khamoshi: The Musical.

Alas, like this long-delayed film, Manisha too has gone through innumerable ups and downs in her career.

The inconsistencies in the narration are covered up with a lot of exterior gloss. To the director Afzal Khan's credit the film's scattered pastiche is woven into what can pretty much be described as a seamless 'yawn' about two men and a woman who should know better.

The sets and locations are opulent flamboyant and eye-catching. No subtlety is applied in the visuals or emotions. The song-and-dance numbers that come along with alarming rapidity are shot with an eye for unhampered opulence.

So who gets the girl at the end? That's a question which must remain in the audiences' mind in any love triangle.

Beyond a point we stop caring completely about these three compulsively conflicted characters, even though one of them is played by a star who brings in an element of the tragic and classic grandeur from an era gone-by.

And one isn't referring to either of the two male leads. Devgan and Dutt behave like Devgan and Salman Khan from Bhansali's Hum Dil… discussing the same woman with each other ad nauseam as though she were two different entities.

A case of a split personality? By the time the triangle is resolved (with one of heroes coming to a suitably stickly nemesis) the only 'split' personality is the audience.

Most of them have fled the dread of watching a film that goes back the oldest traditions of Hindi cinema and emerges with a product that substitutes genuine emotions with elaborate props borrowed from a master storyteller's creative godown.

Mission Istanbul

Terrorism is a global issue and varied film-makers across the globe continue to make movies/documentaries/short films that expose the ghastly face and effects of terrorism. Apoorva Lakhia charters that path as well in Mission Istaanbul.

In Mission Istaanbul, there's an Osama replica, bunkers in Afghanistan where he is supposedly hiding, also a television channel that telecasts exclusive footage from the terrorists (its called Al Johara here), a George Bush lookalike… Lakhia seems to have incorporated snippets and vignettes from real-life to celluloid in an effort to make the goings-on relatable and believable.

But, somewhere in between, the fight against terrorism becomes too Bollywoodish as the two heroes eliminate an entire army of terrorists and put an end to the nefarious activities of a TV channel. And that's difficult to gulp!

Perhaps, Lakhia's intentions are right, to make a hard-hitting film that marries realism and fiction beautifully, but the writing indulges in too many cinematic liberties and that's precisely why Mission Istaanbul goes off target.

However, lovers of action fares are in for a treat, since the stunts, action and chase sequences in Mission Istaanbul are truly captivating.

Sure, a few sequences aren't for the faint-hearted, but you can't help but put your hands together for these sequences and the men behind those death-defying stunts. All said, Mission Istaanbul goes off target!

Vikas (Zayed Khan) is one of the most promising journalists in the country. Owais (Suniel Shetty), who heads a controversial Istanbul-based news channel Al Johara, makes him an offer to head the channel. This offer comes at a time when Vikas is undergoing a divorce with his wife Anjali (Shriya Saran).

But little does Vikas know that the decision will change his life forever. Owais is killed and Turkish commando Rizwan (Vivek Oberoi) tells Vikas that if he decides to quit as well, he would be bumped off as well. In a place where the gun has the last laugh, will a journalist survive or will he fall prey like many others?

Mission Istaanbul unravels at a feverish pace and that's most important for a thriller. The story travels from India to Turkey to Afghanistan to Turkey again, in the very first hour.

The characters are well-established, the script is laced with incidents that seem straight out of newspapers. Coupled with Lakhia's execution, top notch cinematography and stylish action, the film begins to grow as reel after reel unspools.

But, alas, the film goes for a toss in the second hour. Things actually stagnate as the two heroes turn into super- heroes and combat an army of villains on land, sea and air.

By the way, they don't get bruised even once! Lakhia and writer Suresh Nair seem to have substituted action for content and that's the most glaring flaw.

In fact, you feel that Lakhia and Nair must've decided to go on a vacation in the second hour, entrusting the responsibility on the stunt directors to conclude the second hour.

There's not much scope for music in the film, but in terms of composition, just one track -- 'Jo Gumshuda' -- is easy on your ears. The Abhishek Bachchan track is such a waste. Even the tune is completely forgettable. Gururaj R.J.'s cinematography is top notch. Action, as mentioned earlier, is the hallmark of the enterprise.

Both Vivek and Zayed come up with competent performances. Vivek does a fine job, essaying his part with ease. But why does he sport a smirk on his face most of the times?

The director could've avoided that! Zayed is equally charged. In fact, you witness a new Zayed in this film, the renewed confidence shows. Shriya Saran is wasted. Shweta Bhardwaj does well in stunts, but wears one expression all through.

Suniel Shetty (sp. app.) is as usual. Nikitin Dheer is effective. First JODHAA AKBAR, now Mission Istaanbul, this boy's going from strength to strength. Shabbir Ahluwalia is another talent that needs to be tapped by film-makers. He's very good!

On the whole, Mission Istaanbul rests on action and only action to salvage the show. But that's not enough. At the box-office, this mission won't work

Money Hai Toh Honey Hai

David Dhawan and Priyadarshan triggered off a trend -- of making brainless comedies -- and thus began a wave of leave-your-brains-at-home laughathons.

Inspired by the success of these ha-ha-he-he fares, every second film-maker decided to join the bandwagon for that elusive Hit. But, of late, no-brainer comedies have reached a saturation point.

Ganesh Acharya's Money Hai Toh Honey Hai actually tests the patience of the viewer. Fine, you don't expect a riveting storyline from a film of this genre, but you definitely expect laughs, don't you? You expect to be entertained, don't you? Alas, what you get to see is definitely not good, not even bad, it's verrry boring!

In his debut film SWAMI, Ganesh Acharya proved that he knows his job well, but what is this? How did the makers okay the script (writer: Muazzam Beg) in the first place? What did the actors see in this script? Did they want to be a part of a mini-multistarrer for the heck of it?

Money Hai Toh Honey Hai is like flying in an aircraft without a pilot. You don't know where it's headed!

Money Hai Toh Honey Hai deals with six characters: Bobby (Govinda) is a happy go lucky guy, who runs away from home to prove himself.

Lalabhai (Manoj Bajpayee) becomes wealthy, but he's back on the road as his business fails and he loses all his money. Gaurav (Aftab Shivdasani), a copywriter, is fired from his job.

Manik (Upen Patel) is a struggling model who sleeps with a middle-aged fashion designer (Archana Puransingh), hoping to make it big.

Ashima (Hansika) is a successful TV star, but she's not happy with her career and is desperate to do films as the lead heroine. Shruti (Celina Jaitley) is a struggling dress designer.

One fine day, they all get an SMS informing them that they are the owners of a 1,000 crore company. However, their happiness does not last long for the lawyer reveals that there's a loan of 1,200 crore on the company and they must repay it and until the loan is repaid, they would be kept under house arrest.

The story sounds interesting on paper, but on celluloid, it's non-existent. Prem Chopra picks up random cellphone numbers and makes them calls. He wants them to inherit his fortune.

But the entire first hour is devoted to why they became losers. It's only at the interval point that you expect the story to begin. But does it take off? Nope!

Instead of sticking to the core issue, it meanders into meaningless sub-plots, which only add to the boredom. The finale at the fashion show (well choreographed by Achala Sachdev) is interesting, but by then you're exhausted and want the movie to end.

The writer of this film is the biggest culprit. The writing touches a new low with this film. Ganesh Acharya tries to pack in funny sequences, but just two bring a smile -- the Archana Puransingh-Upen Patel track and Govinda's encounter with a Vijay Mallya lookalike, who is surrounded by a bevy of beauties.

The songs too show up without any valid reason whatsoever, although a few songsare tuneful and well choreographed.

Now to the performances! Govinda looks too old for his part. The role demanded a 20 + actor and Govinda looks completely out of place here.

The age shows! Imagine, he calls Jawed Sheikh his father and Ketaki Dave his mother!!!! Besides, why is behaving so kool by speaking in English? It looks fake! You feel sad to watch an actor of the calibre of Manoj Bajpayee being reduced to absolute nothing. Is he the same actor who acted in SATYA? And ZUBEIDAA, PINJAR and 1971?

Aftab Shivdasani looks right for the part, but he hardly gets any scenes. Upen Patel does a good job and his scenes are truly funny.

Hansika goes over the top. Celina Jaitley gets no scope either. Archana Puransingh, besides Upen, provides a few laughs. She's excellent. Prem Chopra is wasted. Ravi Kishan too doesn't impress.

On the whole, Money Hai Toh Honey Hai is a poor show. At the box-office, a damp squib!